This weeks activity was a mad lib for Lolo's birthday. Well, that was what it was supposed to be. But the Editarian forgot to put figures of speech under the blanks, which made this infinitely more difficult. Here is the result from the best answers I received:
Lolo's Dream Rotary Social
Setting:
It is the last Thursday of the month.
It is 4:30 PM
The Rotary Social has begun at the Irish Pub.
And somehow.....Lolo is in charge of everything.
As Rotarians arrived at the Irish Pub, Lolo greeted everyone while driving a specially branded CATA bus covered in bent carrots.
Instead of name tags, everyone had to wear thongs, which somehow became mandatory by unanimous board vote.
The official drink special of the evening was called "The Four-Way Test". Lolo opened the social by announcing a fully integrated, community-centered, stakeholder-driven initiative focused entirely on baking bread.
Shockingly, 14 people immediately volunteered to join the steering committee. The first networking activity involved trading business cards for a spitting contest. Several MSU PR students appeared mysteriously, hoping the evening counted as extra credit.
At exactly 4:47 PM, Lolo rang the pub bell and demanded a toast to Pee Wee Herman. Lolo then unveiled her dream Rotary initiative: transforming downtown Lansing into a hockey rink. Shockingly, everyone agreed this was still a better idea than another committee about combined sewer flow.
The bartender became visibly concerned when Lolo ordered 37 plates of gyoza and attempted to expense them as "community engagement".
Around 5:05 PM, the networking portion evolved into a heated debate about aging. Someone tried to quote the Four-Way Test while holding in a fart.
Another member attempted to recruit volunteers for a fundraiser involving axe tossing and at least one questionable waiver form.
Lolo approved the idea immediately and appointed Lisa Smith as chair, despite their obvious attempt to avoid eye contact.
Suddenly, the pub lights dimmed and a legendary Rotarian - previously believed to exist only in attendance records - entered the room: The Italian Guy.
Nobody recognized them at first, but Lolo welcomed them like an old friend from grade school.
A nearby table asked if Rotary was always this wild. Lolo proudly answered, "Only when we're discussing gnocchi".
At 5:32 PM, Lolo proposed replacing all future Rotary Socials with drinks at Linda's. The idea received overwhelming applause from everyone except the treasurer, who quietly began calculating the insurance implications.
Before closing remarks, Lolo announced next month's social would feature life music, fellowship, and calculus, sponsored by someone

who definitely forgot they volunteered. As the clock approached 6:00 PM, Rotarians gathered for one final toast to Lolo.
Then Lolo climbed aboard the counter, waved to the crowd like the Grand Marshal of the Silver Bells Parade, and disappeared heroically into the Lansing night at the Irish Pub erupted in applause.
Happy Birthday, Lolo - Queen of Fellowship, Networking, Public Relations, and Controlled Rotary Chaos.
Email for Ben Rathbun: Ben@rathbunagency.com