At precisely 3:38 p.m., I rushed out of my campus office to get on the road for our monthly social gathering at the Irish Pub. I took Trowbridge Road for U.S.-127, veered toward the Flint/Clare on-ramp, where I joined other drivers in what has become a daily exercise in patience and civility. I approached the inevitable bottleneck just beyond Trowbridge Road, where folks in the right lane traveling north realized too late that they should have stayed in the slow-moving left lane, because now they must merge or be forced to exit at Kalamazoo (which is where I needed to go) — in bumper-to-bumper traffic, where other drivers refused to yield to courtesy.
I slowed my roll. This was going to take a minute, and I was going to be late for the social gathering. Googlemaps, however, told me that I would arrive one minute early. “I don’t know about that,” I thought to myself. I took the Kalamazoo off-ramp, cycled through two red lights, turned left onto Kalamazoo, then left to the I-496 on-ramp, and I was on my way. Easy-breezy.
I arrived at the Irish Pub at 3:59 p.m., so Googlemaps got it right after all. The parking lot was full with nary a spot to spare. “Drat,” I thought. OK, OK, OK. I thought another four-letter word, but I shan’t repeat here. I proceeded to the gravel lot next to the pub and parked along the fence. I walked in at 4:02 p.m. A bunch of guys were gathered at the tables between the entrance and the Rotary-gathering area. “These are not the Rotarians you were looking for,” I observed. The Rotary-gathering area was curiously absent any Rotarians … or people. Just as I thought I got the day wrong (it happens to me a lot!) a guy who works at the pub asked, “Hey, are you here for Rotary?”
I nodded. He said, “You’re the first one here!” I felt like he was congratulating me, so I went with it. And then it hit me: The social gathering starts at 4:30, not 4. Insert eyeroll.
I copped a squat at the end of the first bank of tables, ordered a Caramel Apple cocktail, which is THE cocktail to order. Soon enough, Alex Hernandez wandered in and cheerfully greeted me. He was about to order a cold something or other, but he smartly asked what I was sipping. I offered him a taste. He agreed, it is a delicious beverage, and he trotted off to order one for himself.
Other Rotarians arrived, and I asked if they wanted to play a game of Thanksgiving trivia. To give credit where credit is due, the trivia is from The Pioneer Woman’s website. Here are the deets to the best of my recollection, before the Caramel Apple cocktail started to make things a little fuzzy:
1. Which Christmas song was traditionally a Thanksgiving song? Steve Grant correctly guessed it was “Jingle Bells.”
2. Which year did the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade first air on TV? Steve again got it right. It was 1948. And no, Steve wasn’t the only Rotarian playing.
3. How many guests do those hosting Thanksgiving dinner usually have on average? Terry Terry guessed 16. His guest, Elise Ribbons, guessed eight. Jim Dexter told us, when his daughter hosted Thanksgiving in Detroit (Macomb), there were 45 guests. Alex Hernandez guessed 30. Diane Sanborn said, “None.” I asked her to explain. She said, “I’m too old.” I disagreed. Age ain’t nothing but a number. Thankfully, her nephew is hosting, and there will be nine guests. She’s taking a Jello and Mandarin-orange salad. There was some talk about getting Cathy Andrews drunk, but I don’t remember why, and we wouldn’t put up with that anyway, so don’t worry, Cathy. We’ve got your back!
4. According to a survey, what are people most thankful for on Thanksgiving? Michelle Reynaert said, “Football.” Her daughter, Megan, said, “Family,” and indeed it was one of three possible answers, the other two being health and life.
5. What was the cost of the world’s most expensive Thanksgiving? No one guessed it, but the answer is $180,000. Elise — who admitted that she is extremely competitive — challenged the answer, but it just wasn’t that serious.
6. When was the first Turkey Trot held? It took her a few tries, but Elise had the correct answer: 1896.
7. Which football teams always play on Thanksgiving Day? Steve and Diane said, “The Detroit Lions, Chicago Bears and Dallas Cowboys.”
8. What was the first character balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade? I hummed the theme song to Michelle and Megan, but they came up blank. The answer is “Felix the Cat.”
9. What household hazard triples on Thanksgiving? The answer: Fires, Michelle answered accurately.
10. According to Merriam-Webster, when was the term “Friendsgiving” first circulated? Again, Michelle rightly answered 2007.
11. Which country celebrates a version of Thanksgiving in October? A spirited Elise said, “Canada!”
12. How can you tell if a cranberry is ripe? If it bounces when you drop it, it’s ripe. Who would know? Elise asked if we’d seen the Ocean Spray commercial where the guys are standing in a sea of cranberries.
13. How many cranberries are needed to make one can of cranberry sauce? Linda Sarnelli guessed 200. Nope. Elise guessed 10,000. Nope. Steve guessed 500. Nope. He then guessed 300. Yup! Elise asked again if we’d seen the Ocean Spray commercial.
14. What is the longest amount of time you can leave a cooked turkey sitting out of the fridge? Diane said, “Two hours.” Ding, ding, ding! Elise said, “No way. It’s much shorter than that.” She’s probably right. Don’t leave your cooked bird out for longer than an hour and a half, or your goose might get cooked, if you get my drift. 15. Are pumpkins considered a vegetable? Elise said, “No, they are gourds.” Diane said, “They’re a fruit,” and she was correct.
16. How many grocery stores are there in the United States? There was some discussion about this, and guesses were all over the map, like 173,000 and 800,000. The correct answer is “over 62,300.” I hate answers like that, because 173,000 and 800,000 are both OVER 62,300.
17. Statistically, what is Americans’ favorite Thanksgiving side dish? “Dressing,” said Diane, and she was right, except that she was answering the question, “What is Americans’ least favorite Thanksgiving side dish. The least popular side dish among Americans is green bean casserole, answered by Steve. I’m still wondering how that could be possible.
18. Which type of food was eaten at the first Thanksgiving but is hardly eaten at Thanksgiving today? In unison, Steve and Diane guessed, “Seafood.” Right-o!
19. What is the most popular Thanksgiving dessert? Everyone answered, “Pumpkin pie!”
20. How many feathers does the average turkey have? No one guessed correctly, but it’s 5,000 feathers.
21. What percentage of Americans eat turkey on Thanksgiving? Elise answered, “88%,” and she is correct. She’s so smart, she should join our club! Susan Angel and Kevin Schumacher talked about their adult kids. After paying their way through college, they now have good jobs, but they still occasionally need financial help from their parents. Steve Grant said his are still in college. Amy Partin came by to say hello. It was nearly 6 p.m. Sue Hansen, Chris Holman, and Michelle and Megan Reynaert made their way toward the door. Susan Angel, Lisa Smith and I said our goodbyes. I drove home singing to myself the "Cheers" theme song:
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name
And they'e always glad you came
You want to be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You want to be where everybody knows your name......
Email for Lolo Robison: lolorobison@gmail.com